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Page 9
 I screamed and started to run from my beautiful patio in a panic.
Why? I didn't even stop to look. Panic and terrified running are the natural order of things for all species, except for us complacent humans who have done away with all of our predators—except those of our fellow humans who have no soul and prey on us with the heartless pleasure of spiders waiting in their webs and grinning in anticipation of the next victim, the next meal, the next bit of fun.
I ran, and had next to no idea where I was going.
As long as I was on the run, I was (almost) safe.
Yes, I could run into a trap, or another predator might be faster and catch up with me…
Running in terror felt great all of a sudden.
Instinct kicked in, and I realized that I would only stop running when I had found the other great thing: a place to hide.
Every bird, every animal, every insect knows these things totally. Not through reasoning, but through instinct, which is basically reasoning cold-wired into their DNA and thus into their brains by evolution. And yes, gravitation, evolution, and climate change are fundamental laws of nature that stand the test of reason and cannot be denied by irrational, ignorant, illogical wishful thinking.
That's why I call myself a trans-Christian. I believe in the Gospel of Love taught by the real Christ in Judaea thousands of years ago, which shines through the Scriptures no matter how they have been twisted and warped by human power structures political, religious, or cultural. That message tells me all people everywhere are the same (good ones, bad ones, mostly nice and helpful ones, with those few rotten apples like my drink poisoner tossed into the mix). I'm comfortable in any house of worship or no house for that matter, unless they start talking hate and nonsense, usually to make the rich richer and the poor dumber and poorer. Nobody has the world's only true religion or they only real magic. Nobody has the only correct translation of ancient wisdoms. Nobody has the right to murder or hate other people because they have slightly different hocus-pocus. No matter how hard you believe in your shtick, until your little brain begins to hum and warm up and smell like burning rubber, nothing changes reality even the tiniest little bit. It's all for nothing. Or better yet, it's all for the benefit of the manipulators who prey on simple people who live in that village in sight of the scary city of Babylon, like in Gen. 2, where those 'others' (shudder!) speak 'different languages' ('diversity', shudder!) and our stern-faced, harshly reassuring demon promises to build walls to keep them out; or better yet kill them all, using us as the lynch mob, lunch mob, whatever…
…booh-hwah-hah-hah-hah!…
My mad running took me down to the lake, where I didn't stop or speak with anyone.
I probably looked like a woman jogging, still dressed in the shorts and T-shirt that my friends had put on me after I was so sick last night.
I had no money with me, nor my wallet and I.D. cards. I stopped at a public fountain for a long drink of water, since I felt very dry.
My vision was still dark and not cloudy so much as underwater and brownish, like looking through that tea I had been drinking earlier.
I was hungry… and there, on a thick brownstone wall by the lakeside, someone had left a fresh, half-eaten sandwich. I think it was egg salad on toast, with a crush of tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, and a bit of bacon. I scooped it up with one hand without slowing down. I didn't hear anyone yelling for my blood or anything. See, we're all predators. We just buy our lunch if we can, rather than kill the prey… well, you get the picture.
I ran some distance and then hid (that old evolutionary instinct) at the end of another brownstone wall, and devoured my kill. Like that hawk with the dead bird in its claws, the trick is to eat fast and then run some more. The hawk had his wings to protect himself; I needed the wall to hide behind.
I began running again, without any idea of where to.
Just to run, to survive, to live another moment…
As the doctor had told Dori, and she relayed it to me, this new drug is a powerful hallucinogen. That means it gives birth (genesis\, from Greek, origin) to strong hallucinations (from a Latin word for dreaming). Hallucinations come from both outside (things we see along the way) and inside (memories of things we have seen or learned).
This trip was taking me through a vivid library of everything I'd ever learned. It explained a lot.
As I continued my breathless jogging, past the lake and into a deep forest, I was reminded of that old Bambi story. The whole flick rattled (like an old-fashioned movie reel) and chattered and flashed through my mind in a few blurry moments as I continued running from the lake and into the forest.
I was amazed at my own strength and endurance, until I realized that I had become transformed.
I saw my reflection clearly in a forest pond, and was both exhilarated and terrified.
I was exhilarated because I saw there a new me: a powerful, giant creature that hardly any other animal or predator (including our species) would want to attack.
In the same moment, I was terrified because the creature I saw, which was myself, had become something part bird and part reptile, almost resembling imagined reconstructions of raptor dinosaurs like T. Rex, Allosaurus, and their kind. Whatever I had become, I was a species a sui generis, in my own kind, crafted by the hallucinogens from fragments of knowledge surviving in my memory.
I had large hind limbs on which I could run forever. My forelimbs were small and relatively weak, with claws designed for minor work. The major work (of attacking, tearing, and devouring) was to be done by my enormous, almost car-sized head full of enormous, razor-sharp teeth. My oddly bird-like overall form was covered in a fine layer of down and the ancestors of evolving feathers. You laugh. I laugh at the memory. I was a killer chicken the size of a small dump truck.
The Woman rides, and How!
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