3.
 In a metaphorical way, to understand what went wrong would be something on the order of understanding the fundamental laws of prime numbers in their own right, by some abstruse, nonreferential mathematics not yet invented or dreamed of.
I have never given up hope of finding her in that tune, of patching the sequence properly together, and watching the joy of my life raise herself off the operating table, smiling and intact, full of love as she reaches for me.
I still don't understand what exactly Meudon did wrong. There was a step too many in his process. Before he died, so coincidentally, Meudon admitted—during a late night call placed by me, desperately drunk in some isolated tavern in the near-Arctic galaxies of New England—that in his experiments with lab animals, he had not as an intermediate step recorded the carrier tune.
He had not recorded it in sufficient molecular granularity. This is all, mind you, in the earliest shadows before digital matured alongside analog. It's like that ghostly lemma of number theory in which we suppose that X is true about prime numbers, and if X (e.g., the Riemann Hypothesis) is true, then entire galaxies and universes of new truths may be self-evident.
Think of it this way. The 33 1/3 LP became obsolete, in favor of digital recording, but the granularity of the LP, according to aficionados, can never be equaled. Now imagine, by extension of that, if the granularity of the LP could be carried down to almost the quark level of detail. That's what we needed, but I'm not sure Meudon was able to achieve that proximity of perfection. He had access to a electron scanning microscope, so we could look—but we did not have the tools to touch, to record, to play back.
And so, I fear, we lost her. That's Lemma A. If we lost her, then she is gone, and can never be retrieved, except perhaps to be naturally born in some parallel universe—maybe infinitely many copies of her, in infinitely many disjointed places, across all eternity.
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Copyright © 2018 by Jean-Thomas Cullen, Clocktower Books. All Rights Reserved.
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